Hellooooo is anybody home?
Hello I'm back! Boy is it dusty in here!! I haven't posted anything in ages. I have been writing but because it's an original story I'm hoping to publish and get paid for I won't be posting any of it. Not for awhile anyways. I am going to start a new blog very soon. Not sure what I'm going to call it yet. I need a catchy name. Hmm I'd love to call it My Happily Ever After but not sure if it's already being used or not. I'll post a link once I get it up and running. See you soon

Oh where has all my bounce gone?
Okay I guess I'm just never happy! For 2 months all I wanted was to be able to sleep through the night without any @#*% headaches waking me up every 2-3 hours! So the doctor added  carbamazepine to my meds and after about a week the headaches started going away. Yeah!!!
Only problem is it's been a month on the new med and all I want to do is sleep. I figure I give it one more week then I call my Dr back and see what he can suggest. *curls up in a warm sunbeam and takes a nap*

Yes I'm crazy..crazy in love!!
Okay so today is the anniversary of my husband's death. I miss him very very much and I'm still very much in love with him but wait those of you that have actually read my poems are going aren't you in love with another guy. Yes and yes! I'm in love with them both very much. I'm going to love both of them forever. The love I had for MHC created a foundation that let's me be free to fully love MDMP. The love I have for MDHP in no way diminishes the love I had before. I just wish I could better get my family to understand this. Luckily the only one that really needs to understand that I love him fully and unwaveringly is my Darling and he completly understands and loves me back.  Nice to know today on the one year anniversary.*happy tears*

(no subject)
Title: Even Though We Have Never Met and I Just Know
Fandom: original poems
Characters or Pairing: none
Rating: General
Word Count: about 230
Summary: Love poems
I wrote the first before we met in person and the second afterwards
Why it's a costume: I never post what I write to LJ.
I hardly post any of the original things I write any where because I'm so self critical.
I mostly either BETA or co-write.
These poems were written by me and have only been post on one forum despite me have an LJ and 2 dusty blogs.
So here they are. Do I look pretty?

Even Though We Have Never Met

You make me smile
even though we have never met
You make me laugh
even though we have never met
You make me feel special
even though we have never met
I can't wait to "see" you everyday
even though we have never met
You make me want to travel thousand of miles
even though we have never met
I yearn for your touch, your kiss and to see your smile
even though we have never met.
I miss you and my heart aches for you
even though we have never met
I am falling in love with you
even though we have never met
No the truth is I am in love with you
even though we have never met

We met at between me writing these two poems and we want to get married. Yup we are crazy! I met his mom already and he is coming in January to meet my parents and we plan to live together this summer.
I just know

I just know I love you!
I will love you till the end of time
I don’t know if we can live together as man and wife or not
But I only know one true way to find out and that is to do it
I just know I love you!
Not try but do. I promise to give it all my heart.
To not just try but give it a 110%
I just know I love you!
I choose you  because I chose you
You are wonderful and worth the effort.
I just know I love you!
I want to be there when you need someone to talk with
I want to live love laugh and just be with you.
I want you to be the one I laugh and play with and
I want to be able cry in your arms at night
I just know I love you!
I want to share our lives together the good and the bad.
I want to be there for you.
I just know I love you!

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Happy Birthday to me??!
     Okay so I haven't written in weeks but I need to rant!! I am not a happy mom right now!! Today is my birthday!!! Here's how my birthday day has gone so far! I woke up very early feeling great and then caught my son looking at Porn sites again!! I was very sleepy last night and apparently I did not log off right, so this morning I noticed he had been using the computer and I checked his activity! Over 20 pages of Porn!!! and he tried to lie about it!!! I was very calm with him. I am proud of the fact that I stayed calm and did not yell or go crazy!! Just said in a quiet voice while pointing to the computer logs  "you know your grounded" He started to make excuses and I just started at him and said  now go get breakfast before I get really angry! He quit talking and made tracks so fast I think his shoes left rubber tread!!! The porn is not a big issue. My main problem is the lying!!! He's a twelve year old boy. He's curious. He has his mother's libido so I am not that surprised!!! but his being grounded did cause problems for me that I needed to talk to my mom about since Ken was supposed to spend the weekend with her and they were going to the water park and well now he is grounded so she can't take him and she kept making excuses for him if I let him go to her house while I'm at my 3 day business seminar I can tell she will baby him. Heck she will let him play video games all day and bake him a cake!!!!! I hate the fact that whenever I ground him I basically ground myself too!!! So I changed the settings on the computer and  I talked to my friend who I'm going to the business seminar with and instead of going to grandma's for a weekend of fun my son is going to stay with his wife at their house and basically do chores all day! He is going to slave all weekend!! Insert evil laughter here!! He is going to wash and wax all 3 of our cars and pull weeds around the pool ect. He is going to be too busy to get into any trouble and will think twice about lying again!!!
    Dealing with Kenny was the easy part my mom not so much!!! 
She is upset that I'm spoiling her weekend plans! Says I'm blowing everything out of propotion and actually said that what I was talking about was irrelevant!! So now I'm in an argument with my mom on my birthday!! So I'm now upset and not pay attention and I slip and twist my ankle!!! Then later when it's time I found out I accidentally left the lights on in my new car and the battery is now dead as a doornail!!  So I end up driving my mum in law's caddy to pick him up from school!! I leave my son next door at my mum in law's and walk home. By now I have a bit of a headache so I take some Tylenol and I get all comfy with a good book and just start to drift off to sleep when the phone rings! Ken's calling and asks if I would please walk back over so I haul myself out of bed and walk back over to her house. So I trudge over there and open the door to singing!! My ears get assaulted by a very off key rendition of the Happy Birthday song and a rose from the garden gets shoved under my nose so I try to smile and not sneeze. then I'm taken into the kitchen for my birthday dinner!! Hot dogs, fried potatoes, cantaloupe and chocolate chip brownies. The brownies were good! Now I'm waiting for service to come and charge my car battery and by service I mean my dad that I begged to come over!! This day is not going like I planned!!! Oh well Happy Birthday to me!

Where is that last egg hiding?
Why did we hide Easter Eggs inside the house? Why can't we ever find all the eggs? Why don't we ever learn?

I am so frigging tired!!!!!
If anyone had told me how much work just prepping for the painters was going to be I don't think I ever would of gone and hired them in the first place!!! I have been packing boxes for 3 weeks!!! 3 FRIGGING WEEKS!!!!!!! and I'm not done yet!!!!!!!! The painters come on Monday and I'm worried that I won't have all the prep done! I'm painting the living room, the dinning room , the kitchen. my office , the hallway and the hallway bathroom. All this work is because I'm a reader and a collector! I just can't get rid of any books and I have a lot of sfi memorabilia!! I have bookshelves in every room !! Yes I do mean every room! I have 4 bookcases in the living room plus a huge entertainment center. My dinning room has a bar and a china cabinet with lot's of breakables that had to be boxed and some books mixed in. My kitchen has a large bookcase filled with cookbooks. My office has 4 bookcases filled with books and collectibles. My hallway has a small bookcases and my bathroom has a book shelf. Hey so I read in the bathroom,  you know you do it too!!!  I am just soooo tired of boxing up my stuff.  I keep telling my self that all the work will be worth it when the house is all clean and freshly painted. I can't wait to be done!! I'm gonna sleep for a week!!!!!!

Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday anduria_triany!!!! I tried to embellish this all pretty and with colors bur as you can see no luck but I do hope you have a great birthday!!

He likes me! He really likes me!!
My heart was pounding and I had such a goofy grin this morning!! I was up late with a friend. We went to a business seminar together and he helped me set up my website orders after wards so I did not head home until after midnight! I was very tired and went right to bed and never thought to call and let him know that I had gotten home safe. Soooo this morning he calls my phone and gets worried when I don't answer. Tries my mum in law's and no answer. Tries my home phone and no answer.  He panics and starts call the police and driving down to my house!!!!!!!! I just had forgotten to switch my phone back from silent mode back to ringer!! I was fine! He was ready to drive 30 minutes at 8am in the morning just to check on me!!!!! I thought we were just business associates and long time friends but I think he likes me way more than that!! We goof around together and we go out together and have sushi but was thinking just friends but after hearing his voice so full of concern this morning I'm can't stop thinking about him!  *g* I feel like a teenager!!

Meme snagged from [info]shamazipan
You're on my friends list! I wanna know you. I want to know 33 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, talk every day or already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine. I just want to know you. Copy this and post it with your answers in the comments.

1. Can you cook?
Yes I can!! I love to cook and bake!! I even won a blue ribbon for my cinnamon bread at the California State Fair!!
2. What was your dream growing up?
I wanted to be a ballerina!
3. What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I was great dancer.
4. Favorite place?
I love the beach.
5. Favorite vegetable?
I love my veggies but asparagus right now because it is just coming into season!
6. What was the last book you read?
Plum Lucky
7. What zodiac sign are you ?
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
Pierced ears
9. Worst Habit?
interrupting people when they talk
10. Do we know each other outside of lj?
Yes from Torchwood forum
11. What is your favorite sport?
I love to watch ice skating and I enjoy dancing.
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
Probally talk your ears off!!!
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
I found my husband dead of a heart attack in our bedroom. :(
15. Tell me one weird fact about you:

16. Do you have any pets?
my cat Katie
17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
18. What time is it where you are now?
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
depends on the clown
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
my weight
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
not sure depends on my mood
22. What color eyes do you have?
Hazel! They change color depending on my mood mostly they are Teal colored.
23. Ever been arrested?
24. Bottle or Draft?
Not really a bear drinker but occasionally I drink draft
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
go on a trip with my son
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
27. What 's your favorite bar to hang at?
Don't hang at bars
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Torchwood forum or hang out with my friends and watch movies on the telly
30. Do you swear a lot?
31. Biggest pet peeve?
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?


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